“I have been waiting for you!
“By the moment when We saw Jesus for
the first time, We had heard a lot about Him from
John the Baptist and had been waiting for His
coming. But despite the fact that We had been
anticipating it and preparing Ourselves,
nevertheless a miracle happened — the great miracle
of being with Him, Living!
“None of Us was ready for
encompassing at once the knowledge which Jesus
brought… He taught Us… He taught when He was
speaking or keeping silence, when He was edifying
others, when He was eating together with Us meager
food shared equally, when We had no place to stay
overnight, when people were praising Him and when
they were blaming Him… Every moment of being near
Him was education for Us…
“I would like to recount one
episode… It was before the beginning of Our
apostolic Service. Once, Jesus sent some of Us to
heal and to preach in a village, but He Himself did
not go with Us…
“We walked joyfully and proudly:
Jesus entrusted Us to heal with His Power!
“In the village, We tried to speak
like He would speak and repeated His words. Then We
began to heal… But nothing happened… There were no
miracles… We only incurred ridicule:
‘Where is your God?! You are
“… We came back disgraced…
“Jesus met Us with words:
‘Where is your faith? Where is your
love? Where was your Father when you were healing?’
‘He was with You…’
‘If He is with Me and not with you,
Andrew, then who will heal? You?
‘When you are doing His Work — the
Father rather than Andrew must be in your body! It
is the Father that gives the blessing and power; He
does the work with your hands! If there is no His
Will, words cannot help: the lame will remain lame,
the blind will not recover the sight…’
“And Jesus said to Us:
‘We cannot, because nobody will
believe us there anymore! Let us go to other
“Jesus said again:
‘Go back and let the Father go in
each of you! Do not be afraid of ridicule! And if
they want to beat you, also do not be afraid! Do not
be afraid of death! Do not be afraid of pain! Heal
those pointed by Him and show on them His Power and
His Love! I will be with you!’
“… And We went. People laughed at
us. And stones flew. But each of Us felt the Light
of Love of Jesus and the Power of the Father… and
even stones flew past…
“Mockers did not come to be healed.
Came the miserable who had great love for the Lord.
And they said:
‘If He wills, heal me a sinner!...’
“And they were healed. We praised
Jesus and the Father and said:
‘Go and do not sin again!’
“And the Power of Father was in Us.
“In this way We mastered the law of
the Higher Power: There must be no one between
the one whom you are helping and God: any trace of
‘I’ does not allow the Power of the Father to flow…
The Father can manifest Himself through your body
only if there is no you as a lower self.
“It could not be mastered at once.
But with time, it became more and easier to be a
“When You went preaching — without
money, without any support except God — how did You
get by, how did You survive?”
“We thought about this least of all.
Sometimes We were given a feast, sometimes — a
beating. In this way We went preaching with Jesus;
in this way each of Us went afterward according to
“And if We remained hungry, it meant
that the Bread of the Lord had not satiated
the souls to whom We had come, and We grieved only
that they remained hungry…
“Or, if the seed of Lord’s words
fell on rocky soil, how We could grieve for
being stoned, if We knew that the seeds of
His Love would not sprout there?!
“It is easy to live with absolute
faith! Jesus taught Us this: If you have to
accept the death, then you accept it. If God
prolongs Life, then you serve Him!
“It is so easy! — to trust
absolutely Him, Who is with you and in you! Your
strengths, your hands, your mouth, your thoughts
serve Him, and all the rest He will provide to you:
all that He considers necessary for you…
“Each day of life increased His
Glory and brought Us closer to Him!
“The more time passed the less of
the former Andrew remained in Me, and the more was
of Andrew the First-Called — Jesus’ Andrew,
Andrew-Son of the Heavenly Father…
“And, crucified on a cross, True
Andrew preached. And when the guards wanted to
release Me, they could not even come near…
“I was coming to Jesus!
“The Father willed so: I was going
away — into Him!...
“… It was easy for Us! It was much
easier for Us than for Others Who reached the
Father! Since We saw Jesus for the first time, He
was with Us.
“We were not like rivers which have
to make their way. No: We merged with a great River
which had already made Its way to the Ocean. Jesus
showed Us the Way! We walked nearby; We walked with
Him just a bit behind! It was easy for Us!
“He showed the Way and gave the
power to walk! He taught Us to unite with the Power
of the Father! And each of Us wished to complete His
Path and enter the Abode of the Father as Jesus did.
The cross death was desired by Us!
“We walked the Path of Jesus!
“We carried His words to people!
“We did what He entrusted to Us!
“Jesus was always with Us!
“And now We are — with Him — in the
* * *
“The first feat of a soul on the
Path to the Father is the feat of being aware of
His constant presence. Then one begins to live
feeling oneself before Him. Then ‘on His scales’ one
weighs all thoughts and deeds…
“The second feat of a soul is the
feat of serving Him. Every thinking and deed must be
done for Him. Through mergence of the first
two feats one realizes full devotion to Him.
“The summit of soul’s life is the
third feat — Mergence — when you give Him
yourself entirely and do not think about yourself
anymore, forgetting the personal — in the Great Love
for Him. Then the great sacrament of Joining,
Reunification is possible. When everything that
was me becomes love and is given as a gift to Him —
then the giver disappears because he has given away
everything, including himself.
“The one who comes into Him says:
‘There are only You — Father!’
“The One Who comes out from Him
says: ‘I and the Father are One!’
“And then the Highest becomes
possible — that which Jesus demonstrated to people
by His life. This means that One realizes the
Mission, being not individuality anymore!”